sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
