HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
