His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
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she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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