So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize