I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize