If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize