why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
