We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize