There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Randomize
