Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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