im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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