Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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