do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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