Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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