Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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