she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
