well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
bring money and cleavage
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
