And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My ATM looks so different sober.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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