dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
