So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
