shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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