You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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