i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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