were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
