the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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