You're my little dorito
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
