It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
