What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
