You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
