just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
