i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Drake has all the answers
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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