I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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