okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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