everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
