he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
