Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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