i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
