TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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