Having a random hookup so left but love u
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
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His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
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My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize