I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
