I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
