Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
