apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
