Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
