no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
