we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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