im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
