My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
