Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
