oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
