White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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