dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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