haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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