Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Is it because I queefed?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
