Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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