He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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