i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
