what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
