So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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