There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
