Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
