only if we run a train.
done.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
