then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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