Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
