I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Enjoy the penises
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
