Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
