508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
